Motherhood is a wonderful adventure but it is not no-sweat!
Since I did not see the writing in the test I cannot imagine very well what it the meaning of the world: motherhood. I felt something not for me, well, I had other interests in my life and I did not know if I had found my True Love yet, it was the beginning of my love story. Then, I see his happiness in his eyes, his attention for me, and everything change. I felt the movement of another life inside me, I discover how awful is be hungry, eat and then throw up everything. Being pregnant is not easy, guys.
The belly was not too big but I cannot sit down easier like before, I felt tired after made a bed, and I cried almost every day for anything.
At the beginning, I hope it was a boy because life for boys is much easier than for female.
Instead, the day before the scan in which we discovered the ex of our baby I encountered only girls and in the night I had dream myself folding pink clothes. The moment in which the doctor said “It’s a girl” I felt my heart full of love for you and in that moment I decided that her perfect name was love. I found immediately Maitea on the web and I did not have any doubt. You are love, my honey.
There are some restaurants in Barcelona with this name and when you will be older we will go all together to eat there. It is a promise, my treasure.
During pregnancy, I wanted have a natural labour and a breastfeeding, but it is not easy as people often tell. Not every single woman has milk in her breast. I do not have. I felt guilty because I cannot satisfy your hunger and you lost lot of weight just in one day. I cannot see you cry and I prefer renounce to feed you just with my breast and use the formula. No problem if it is expensive. Your smile and your growth is better than my ideas. During the past centuries, women without milk had childminders to feed their babies. I have the opportunity to attach you on my breast every day just for a cuddle or before to sleep. I do not want see you suffering for a problem with my ugly, tiny breast. My breast never gave me any satisfaction from the beginning. I want find the root of the problem without sacrifice your health. You are our Love, our joy, our happiness.
People cannot understand easily my struggle today. People just say: “it is impossible you do not have enough milk, any mother had milk. “ Not me. I hope I can find a doctor in the world can resolve my problem for you as soon as possible and for your siblings, but I will never run the risk to lost any baby God will give to us.
Be a mother does not means to have milk. I am according that breastfeeding is the best way to growing up for the first step in the life but it is not true that every single woman in the world has milk in her breast. It is time to tell the truth to the world. Maybe, it is time for the medicine to discover a way to give to all women milk for their babies, instead to continue to build useful, stupid weapons as shotgun, tank, and so on.