WILLIE WASTLE

Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,

The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie;

Willie was a wabster gude,

Cou'd stown a clue wi' ony bodie;

He had a wife was dour and din,

O Tinkler Madgie was her mither;

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wadna gie a button for her.

She has an e'e, she has but ane, The cat has twa the very colour; Five rusty teeth forbye a stump, A clapper tongue wad deave a milkr; A whiskin beard about her mou', Her nose and chin they threaten ither; Sic a wife as Willie had, I wadna gie a button for her.

She's bow-hough'd, she's hein-shin'd, Ae limpin' leg a hand-breed shorter; She's twisted right, she's twisted left, To balance fair on ilka quarter: She has a huaip upon her breast, The twin o' that upon her shouther, Sic a wife as Willie had, I wadna gie a button for her.

Auld baudrans by the ingle sits, An' wi' her loof her face a washin'; But Willie's wife is nae sae trig, She dights her grunzie wi' a hushion. Her wallie nieves like midden-creels, Her face wad fyle the Logan-water: Sic a wife as Willie had, I wadna gie a button for her.